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eRiCCa

Such A DumbFuck…

wow… great news i got from this friend… so happened that he knows WJ… and he was happily telling me that WJ actually has a REAL GF and also some other girls… what a joke man… my mind suddenly went blind, really surprised…

i took my friend’s phone to sms him… told him that i am tired of being a fool, but it’s my fault of willing to be fooled… for 3 years… but then he said it’s not 3 years because he said i was happily enjoying while i was in aust… and he asked me what i expect actually… i told him that i didnt expect him to lie, i thought that he would at least mean 50% of his words, but he didnt… and he said that i was happily with others too… ok, i was, but i didnt lie… i told him everything in fact… and of course i also know that he is playful and i know that he has many girls, but who cares, i am playful and i have many guys too… as long as… we know the limit and the most important thing is… i am responsible, i am not attached to anyone… i thought he is the same too… but in fact… he has a gf… basically, this is the part that i am superly disappointed at…

i actually told him that… thanks for the happiness as well as sadness… and also disappointments, they are seriously priceless… and also asked him not to worry about the chocs and the tee, they are the first and last gifts from me…

no… i didnt cry… very surprisingly, i was shocked too… but i could feel the pain in me… cracking pain… but i couldnt cry… how i wish that i could cry… it should be better i think… probably, i already dont know how to cry for him anymore…

[updated]
2 mins after i published this entry… and i knew that miracle wont happen… yes, i already started to cry…

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eRiCCa

*Sampah* No More…

well… i am now declaring a NOMORE to this 3 years of bullshits…

i dont understand why i need to beg one to collect his present from me… and even sent it over to his doorstep… then even gotta force him to try them on and see whether it fits or not… i even asked him whether he wanted me to ta pao for him or not since he told me that he was hungry… i spent my 3 hours in his room watching tv… well, it’s actually ok where i kinda enjoy it as he was by my side…

but… i could sense that he wanted me to leave… he kept asking me when my friends coming to pick me up… alright, so i got esmund to pick me up… and so, i requested him to accompany me to walk out to the guard house as i was afraid of dark and also walking alone… but he told me that he has never walked to the guard house before in his life and he didnt wanna walk too… i was damn angry… i just walked away… till i got into the car, i just couldnt help myself… i cried… i cried for this end of this 3 years… i immediately deleted ALL MESSAGES from my phone, included those i saved since year 2004… and also of coz i deleted his numbers too…

later, he sent an sms to thank for the choc and the tee… i laughed… i seriously laughed… i would prefer him to thank me for treating him nice, for pampering him… but not the things i bought… he just doesnt know how to appreciate it, and not knowing how lucky he is…

by the way, it’s a good thing though… finally, it’s time… for me to love myself more… and finally i can rest my mind for quite sometime… i need to be alone…

p/s: title edited to SAMPAH… yes… i am a sampah~~ =P and now waiting to be recycled… HAHAHAHAHHAAH~