. : MaGiCLaND : .

Sometimes I wonder, if someone makes me feel uneasy and not feeling good, is that MY problem or this someone's problem?

It's either I am...

Over sensitive:
Maybe they are not doing it on purpose and they don't realize that...
Too calculative:
Maybe I shouldn't care what people do...
Care about the relationship:
Maybe I treat people as someone important but they just treat that I am nobody...
Easily hurt:
Maybe I should learn how to stay away from these...

Or maybe they...

Do it on purpose:
Because they HATE me...
Not doing it on purpose but NATURALLY:
Just because they don't even care about how I feel...

And I used to confront and talk over problems, but I am just so sick of people trying to give gazillions of excuses for their behaviors, and trying to HIDE, or even try to change how I think... But, I still think that IF YOU have done something that no matter directly or indirectly hurting me, then it's your FAULT, it's obviously not my problem that I purposely turn your kind heart to a rotten heart to HURT MYSELF, RIGHT~!? It's your misbehaves!!

But I know, no matter what, it's all up to me to make myself feel better in this kinda situation... And I am still so far away from knowing how to handle it the right way! I have been telling myself again and again about DON'T CARE and DON'T INTERACT with anyone, there comes NO PROBLEM then!!

This is why I am now happily living in my own little corner, my small but cozy room... And not connecting with the WAR outside my world... I sometimes wonder I should live in an ISLAND myself, nobody nothing, maybe my family with me... I will never leave my family behind for any reason...

Or maybe it's even better to be DEAF AND BLIND... I guess it would be so peaceful...