2013…

It’s more than a year now since my last entry. I had a very challenging year of 2012. Full of challenges with my work, my family, my relationship… I had so much stress at work without direction, had so many big arguments at home, I lost my grandmother, I had a bumpy relationship…

Things are not getting any better, but I hope it will get better, soon.

I am still in my longest relationship ever, more than 2.5 years, WOW! I am lucky that he has been putting in so much efforts in our relationship, never give up, being the best listener, my best friend, my best problem solver… A person that can just ease my mind when I talk to him with all my ups and downs. Seriously, I would not know how to live through all these hiccups in 2012 without him… I know deeply that he is the one, he is the one that can give me all I want… But I don’t seem to give him what he wants, not even the tiniest simplest happiness that he wishes for. This relationship has been so imbalances all these times. I had not been loving him truly and deeply. Being the same old me, that I am always afraid of EVERYTHING, and the worst thing in me is that I am afraid of FAILURE, that makes a total failure of myself.

2013, a year that I am turning 30, stepping into the BIG 3-0, I would want to learn how to live a life for myself. I will do everything that my heart wants to do… Regardless of failure or success, I will take charge of my life, take charge of my ups and downs, working towards a complete challenging life ahead… =)