I Can Feel It…

I am still the same old me, I do not seem to know how to take up challenges, and now I am feeling it… That I am giving up…

Wonderful things really do not last, and before I could notice it, something bad have already started their ways…

Guess that I just do no deserve all the good things, as I do not know how to put in efforts =)

Scary…

Life is getting scarier… Ironic, I would say…

Dear buddy, thanks for the so-called long talk after such a long time, you are still the person who understands me the best, or perhaps, our wavelength is still the same after all… The worries regarding our life, career, relationship… All these are really haunting me…

The worries of the happiness that we are having now is actually not the right path in life…

Miserable…

AHHHHH…

I know, I have been saying that I am very happy in this job… But, I will still have to face the truth…

My mom keeps asking me how is my job and if I can survive with this job, I do not know what to respond to her… It just seems like I am wasting time, where I am supposed to build up my career and make money… In fact, I am just wasting time and slacking, while enjoying the happiness…

Bah… Useless me!!

Tough Yet Happy…

The combination of “TOUGH” and “HAPPY” is very weird, yes, this is what I am feeling…

If you were to ask me, what would I comment on my job, I would definitely tell you that it is very stressful, very tough, the though of giving up, tired… On the other hand, I am very happy that I had decided to quit previous job and joined this current job… It is a bit of contradicting here, I know, but these are all what I feel… WEIRD…

Finally, I am experiencing all the stress that people have been telling me about SALES… From learning the products to convincing yourself that what you are selling is the best, then to sourcing, to communicating with weird people with weird comments, then to convincing them, then to closing a deal, then to go through the very demanding and fussy underwriters, then finally waiting for approval, BUT now it comes to how to make your customers to accept the offer… Last but not least, closing multiple deals does not mean that you have achieved your target… WTF… Or else, all the hard work would go to the bin *YEAY*

It seems like there are more negatives than positives to be in this job, the strange thing is, I am still happy with it… I think I have learnt to be happy for just a little result that I have got and forgetting all the 10 gazillions failures… Just imagine, I face maybe 100 rejections and that would put me into a super duper upset mood, but with the next JUST ONE positive feedback, that will just bring smiles and satisfaction to my face again… It is pretty easy to be happy too, with this job… HAHA…

Hopefully the job will become lesser and lesser stress then I will become happier and happier… =)

Contented…

It’s been a month since the previous entry. Things are getting better each day =)

I finally got an acceptance, my first case, first approval, first acceptance!! *hoooray*

And, I am loving my job still, it’s stressful but it’s fun and you get the job satisfaction when you see the result after all the hard work!! The team is making everything more interesting… Crazy and happening people I would say… We normally have dinners, outings beside just working, which is very balance? HA~

Life is so contented now, loving it, loving ME, loving YOU, loving EVERYTHING… Somehow I just hope that time can just stop at this moment, so that I won’t have to worry about things change over time…

I shall be happy if today is my last day… =)

07 June 2010

Today was the Prince of Shit’s birthday and I didn’t bother to even wish him… But I made this day a special day to me!! =)

Application had been approved, but with lots and lots of fear… It’s very likely that it can be a NPL, but still, I am risky it… I think this is too obvious that I am a risk taker…

And this is also not an easy path… It’s the 5th day, well, hopefully that the 12 post dated checks can be deposited on time without fail…

THANK YOU!!

Ipoh Trip…

a wJust got back from a FUN IPOH TRIP~!~! It was a work-play trip… We, Stephen Ong and I started our journey at 6.30am and went for Yoke Fook Moon DIM SUM at Ipoh…

Then, we started our WORK… He went to client’s office to collect documents and did site visit… Then, Stephen Ang came to join us!! We went to the factory for another site visit… We had lunch at Stephen Ang’s dad’s shop for the VERY FAMOUS NASI KANDAR!! Apparently, it’s really famous that even SITI NURHALIZA was there, and also some other celebrities too!! HOW COOL!! But, we didn’t spot any!! HAHA~

Well, I thought I could also meet up one of my POTENTIAL client along the way… Unfortunately, it was raining heavily till we were stucked in the nasi kandar place till 5pm, and sadly, that’s about time to go home already…

I have to admit it’s my first work-play trip, although not much done, I AM LOVING IT!! It’s damn fun and thanks to my entertaining companion that kept me laughing throughout the journey… =)

I Am A Biatch…

I believe that I am one…

If I am not one, I might not have done this many stupid things that I hoped I hadn’t done them…

Sometimes, I wish that I can be a responsible person, admit and also be responsible to what I do… But, I am just too biatchy that I can never accept and admit in order to face the real truth… Or maybe, I don’t even know what the truth is… Or, I am just a coward that is trying to hide away from the real truth and pretend that it’s not that way…

To whom I might accidentally attract, I’m sorry for being a biatch that you might have attracted to, but deep down, I’m not the person that you might have attracted to… Because, I don’t know myself… So, you don’t know me either… It’s just an illusion…

To whom I might accidentally hurt, I’m sorry for being such a biatch that might have hurt you in any form that I don’t really mean it… I’m just a brainless biatch who actions before thinking…

To whom might consider seriously to be my friend, please accept my biatchiness…

Happiness + Stress…

I think ALICE, the fortune teller is pretty good in this, that she told me that I would be happier in this new job but having more stress. Yes, so damn farking stressful, no sale, no result, no customer!! Leaving EGGS on my scoreboard… But then, I am so much happier, although I work from morning till night, I don’t really feel that I am working… Hmmm… Or, maybe not hard enough!!

Lots of cool people around, they are not bad afterall, but hey, SO FAR SO GOOD… I am not going to say anything that MIGHT change in the future, who knows, everything seems good IN THE START… Well, this actually puts me into another tough situation where I was told that SALESMEN = CONMEN… And, all the SALESPEOPLE they usually cheat each other for sales… So, I really don’t know if I should suspect everyone. In fact, I have chosen to BELIEVE in everyone of them, at least for a chance. I will only allow people to CON me once and that will be it. ONE AND LAST. But, if they are really nice people, then BINGO, I have got good colleagues!!

=)