Connections…

Obviously, I would want my BF to be close with all my family and friends, because he is my ANOTHER HALF, so I would share them with him… But then, I thought all these connections should only last during the period where we are together, and not after that…

At least, when we are apart, I should bring everything together with me… I don’t look for you or your anyone even if I really need something from them… I don’t want to talk to them and address myself as xxx’S EX…

Maybe, this is only me… I don’t understand why people still want to CLING on MY PEOPLE… And, I am so tired of people telling me… “HEY, XXX called me that day”… BLABLABLA… Then, I would have to again remind myself of this person… Can’t you just go away? Silently? I seriously don’t want to SEE or HEAR anything about the PAST… I don’t remember introducing you many of my friends, but so far, I think I have already heard about you calling them from ALL OF THEM…

I think this should work like a MLM organization chart, once you leave a branch, everything under it should be left together…

I seriously WISH and PRAY that I don’t hear your name from anyone anymore…

That Someone…

Was told that SOMEONE has already appeared, and is IN FRONT OF MY EYES, and was told to stop choosing… I really wonder, and still wondering, WHO would that be… Mainly because, there is nobody that is REALLY showing any action…

Even if there is, I am not sure what to do with him… I am not sure what I want, I am not sure what is it going to be like, I am not sure if I am ready… So many unknown answers, I seriously think that I am just meant to be alone…

Maybe, I have had enough, I have failed enough, I really don’t feel like trying anymore…

I have been asked this question lately…

“What kind of a person are you looking for?”

I really don’t know… I might know what I want, but I might not know if I really want to change my current life, which I am pretty happy with… I might not be ready for another disappointment, thus, might not even want to hope for it…

But then on the other hand, if I really have to be with that someone, that someone who is already appeared and IN FRONT OF ME… I hope that this someone is the someone that I have been longing for, and he belongs to me…

Why Why Why…

I don’t understand why, I don’t understand myself… Why can’t things be easier? Why can’t I stop expecting? Why can’t I accept things easier? Why do I have to care so much?

All these are making my life very tiring, very disappointing…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… When will I start to learn to be nicer to myself as well as others?

Idiot Part II

Well, obviously everyone was waiting for HIS reply, wondering what he would reply, and yes he did reply… But in a super POINT-LESS way… Just like arguing with no point… For example, you are a slut, you are a biatch, you are stupid… Just blabbing childishly… And thus, I didn’t reply him again, winning him is just so not proud… BAH…

I wonder what will happen if I ask him “Why don’t you slap her to wake her up?” on his wife’s death and then telling him it’s just a JOKE… And then, “If your wife knew that her husband was behaving worse *OMG THAT OLD MAN USED WORST INSTEAD OF WORSE IN THIS CASE, GO LEARN YOUR STANDARD 3 ENGLISH* than a b@stard, I guess she would chop her head off and be a head-less ghost”… Freaking nonsense pointless argument where I seriously not wanting to reply… Just doing it for the sake of fun here… BUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA… Because this is MY BLOG!

UPDATE: This Jason even had the same kind of war with a kid… OMG… I think the age gap between them 2 is actually 20 years OR MORE…

Poor Lucky Boy…

It’s been a long while since I last cried that badly, but I just did a moment ago… I had never liked any animal, but I recently like this cute little puppy chihuahua, his name is Lucky, he is very cute and good boy… But, there is this big dog at home that dislikes him, and jealous of him, so they fight all the time…

And today… Lucky’s eye popped out after a fight!!! DAMN!! IT WAS SO BAD!!!!! The eye ball was all red and blurry, I just couldn’t help myself but CRIED!! It really hurts me, ON THE SPOT… I felt so helpless, I was so worried, I felt so pain for him… Luckily, I could get hold of ERIC, a dog lover and he was free and he was just nearby my place… He just came to my house to pick me and Lucky up to go to the VET…

Lucky Boy is so poor thing… He has to stay there for some treatment… Hopefully that everything will be alright… But according to the VET, it should be alright, if not, the eye ball will have to be removed… *OUCHHHHHHHHHHH*

I hate the big dog so much now!! But I felt bad when my dad was hitting him and also chased him out of the house… And he was still outside the house wanting to come home… I hate him for being crazy… But I feel bad for him at the same time… WHAT SHOULD I DO??????????

=(

Wishing Lucky Boy all the best… *love you*

[updated]: Lucky has done with the treatment, he will be coming home soon… =) and because of Lucky’s incident… I met a crazy old man on Facebook…

in mind there is always a person…..cant forget…..thats the reason i been single for so long…..cant hav a new relationship….am i the man who live in the past or i miss the past too much or maybe i juz havent met the right person…..luv is complicated….sometimes is juz purely luck….wish i could forget the past and start my new life….pls giv me strength….i still dream tat u will b bak but actually u r not…how could i still hav this fantasy? am i mad or crazy or problem wit my mind??? for those couple cherish what u hav now, its been like a phobia for me to get into another relationship, maybe i will be a bachelor for my whole life….lol…meet a person, whom juz purely my customer, but somehow he can juz manage to read by my look….his advice to me dun fell to much in gf n bf stuff….lol tats true but what can i do, i m human, i hav feeling…..feeling is hard to control….i ll try….not to think abt her…bless me……to fight this war, well i think this is my weakest part, a person feeling, no matter normal fren, closed buddy, gf…..well juz felt too deep…..xoxo

桃花…

I was told that if PIGGIES didn’t get a partner before Chinese New Year, then all those met after Chinese New Year would be 爛桃花… And then, I read something about star sign few days ago, saying PISCEANS are getting 爛桃花 too… So, at that point of time, I decided that this year will be a 桃花-less year for me, except for 爛桃花…

Honestly, it’s not that myself being superstitious or so, but I really think that it’s quite true in some ways… It’s only about 3 months after Chinese New Year, and there were more than enough of guys came and gone… It made me kinda confused and miserable at times, made me wonder what would happen next… Of course, there were some that I would never consider and also some that I was having some hope in… But, nothing happened…

Maybe, it’s really not the time for me… I shall not look, shall not wait, shall not hope… At least for this year… =)

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By the way, today was a good day for me!! I met my DEAR CHERYL again after… I seriously lost count on how many years we hadn’t met, it’s great to catch up with the girls sometimes… and also, accidentally met ZHANSHEN for a short while, to me, it’s kinda SURPRISE for us to not see each other for that long and also accidentally meeting him… It was not a very USUAL thing for the us to do in the past I would say, BUT it’s now the thing, it’s now the fact…

elo elo…..the stupid pyy is back again….recently caught a flu, suspected is h1n1 cxz have every symptoms mention on the paper….but never mind i am getting well soon. hate my stupid apple juz keep on underline all my words in red….i know i am a chinaman but my stupid apple also cannot understand malaysian english….whahahaha…..my life is still like usual…..bc working all da time…..everyday juz work including sat!!!what a sad life…..even see a pretty chick also got no umph to go after everyday juz thinking working after work feel so damn tired, no clubbing no more bar hopping no more strip club no more crazy nite out….miss my college life……so sad man…..now my best friend is my comp n my xbox…oh ya…..when i was tired i lay on my bed n watch my 42 inch tv when i got bored i play my xbox….when i wanna tok to some1 i go hav a dinner with my old pal….wat a robotic life….hehehe….

Happy Loner…

I would say this is a NORMAL life for a normal person, but it’s kinda abnormal for me… I haven’t been living a life like this before in my life… A life for myself… Nobody else… I make all decisions based on myself, my likes and my dislikes, not influenced by anyone else… Does it sound like a normal life to you? I guess so, I was told that a normal person should live like this… But, this is the time where I am learning how to live like a normal person… At the age of 26… HAHHAHAHAHAHA…

Well, I have to agree that a life like this is somewhat NOT SO SAD, as in not relying on anyone, and not disappointing at anything, but obviously, there is nothing too happy about as well… Because I have all the controls, there is no surprise…

It seems like I can live without any friend now, but at least, I need my laptop!! The most depressing moment was having no laptop, no internet was not that bad, but no TVB… OMG!!! That was the killer!!

I met a few new people in my life recently, but I am trying my best to keep a distance away from them, not too close… Just to avoid repeating the history… I just want to be independent… At least, I don’t simply dial a number just to chat with someone or just to tell someone that I AM BORED… Because I am already at a stage where I don’t need any friend, not even feeling like having a companion…

I am a happy loner… =)

Happy Mother’s Day…

Didn’t really do much for Mother’s Day this year… Just cooked a simple dinner for the 3 mothers at home, my mommie, my dad’s mommie and my mommie’s mommie… Oh, and bought mommie a Coach handbag, thanks to WheiMeng for the troubles…

A simple dinner, BAK KUT TEH, some prawns and vegetables… Got rated 7/10… HAHAHAHHA… Not bad lar… =P

Then a Marcle Cheese Cake, INSTRUCTED by me but most of the HARD WORK done by my 2nd younger brother, Timonthy… As I was busy doing the preparations for the dinner and the cake, so I had to get him to sit there to whip the cream, to crash the biscuits… ONE MISTAKE, I didn’t ask him to do the wordings but I was SO WRONG to believe that he was good at it…

The result…

SO UGLY!!!! But luckily it got rated as 9/10!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!~! Not bad mar… =P

SO FULL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~